Camp Veritus
by Minerva1
Summary: PG for very minor language. what would happen if random people of the HP cast get stuck in a detention camp over the summer? you're about to find out. i think you'll find it pretty funny. READ AND REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1: Welcome to Camp Veritus...

**Hey everyone! Ok, so here's a new idea... a BRILLIANT one! No, I actually mean it this time! :Þ Ok, so you'll have to figure the plot out yourself, but I'm gonna help you a little because there's some new characters. Oh, yeah, first: The idea of Harry Potter comes form JK Rowling. If you didn't know that, don't read this. Actually, go ahead. What the heck. But the ideas for this camp, and for many of the characters were mine. I'll do disclaimers along the way. So here's sort of a 'cast-list' type thing. Their names, personalities, and what they look like/wear. **

**CHARACTERS: **

**(in random order) **

**        1) Ginny Weasley: you know her- nice, smart, and this year... ya ready... she's  chilled out! She's over Harry. (Belongs to J.K.R.) Red hair, fair skin, jeans and a t-shirt. **

**        2) Brittany Kilowzki: Well, she's... messed up. She has serious issues. Like, she never makes sense. Believe me, don't try to make sense of the things she says- they're all random. (A mix of my creation inspired by my bud  Dana in Drama class last year. Good times, good times.) Brown, static friz hair. Inside-out clothing, pajamas. **

**        3) Hermione Granger: you know her. Nothing's changed much. Or has it? (J.K.R.) Now permanenty calm brown hair, smaller teeth, formal sweaters and long skirts. **

**        4) Lindsay McMillan: She's loud, sometimes obnoxious, but nice and fun- party animal type. (My own creation) Strawberry-blond, short, flair jeans and spaghetti-straps.**

**        5) Jessica Hansen: The flirty, breathy-voiced seducer type. Nothing much more to be said- you can take it from there. (Also my own creation. Come to think of it, there's not all that many good girl characters in H.P.) Fake blond, too much make-up, designer jeans or short skirts and tank-tops or very low cut necklines and highcut stomache-lines. **

**        6) Lavender _____: You know her too. Nothing's changed either. But it might... (J.K.R.) Boring- long-sleeved white shirts; short, unstyled pants. **

**        7) Haunalie: Seems quiet and withdrawn at first. I'll let you figure her out from there. You know, a deep person, but you'll get to know her. (Also my character. Nice name, huh? Bonus points for whoever can think of where that name came from. Actually, the name wasn't my creation, in that respect. Belongs to Peter, Paul, and Mary. But thought up by Dana, Darwin, and I during the old band days- more good times.) Dark brown (almost black) hair, tall, black or gray hooded sweatshirts and studded, baggy jeans. **

**        8) Bill: Ok, I'll do a disclaimer right away. HE'S CELLA'S. HE AND SHAWN. TOTALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH ME OR J.K.R. Actually, he can't really count as Cella's creation, more like he and Shawn rudely invaded Cella's mine and took it for a place to hang out. And I don't really know them that well, so go read Cella's stuff! Now! No, wait, after you read my story. But: her pen name's Cellamonder, and her amazing story is called "Cheating Destiny". Most amazing thing ever. Promise. Anyway, Bill. He's... Bill. He sorta lives in his own world of dime romance-paperbacks and magazines. He's kinda perverted and strange. See Sean, below.**

**        9) Sean: Full of himself, cocky, perverted, dated every girl in Slytherin and Ravenclaw, moving on to Hufflepuff. You get the picture. Oh, and he's worshipped by every girl at MIHS cuz he's hot! So is Bill. I think his last name's gonna be Biggerstaff now, after Oliver Wood's actor from the movie... HOTTY! Anway, it seems to fit him. Oh, and he's characteristicly (is that a word?) got this evil devil alarm clock in all of his stories- the alarm clock from Hell, I'm not kidding. **

**        10) Neville Longbottom: AMAZING!! Ok, sorry, no biased opinions here. He's just the love of my life. He's basically the same now... only let's make him hot. Brown/blonde hair, jeans and sweatshirt. Basic. **

**        11) Draco Malfoy: You know him. Well, you _thought_ you knew him. Oooh, mysterious, m? (JKR) Now... what can we have him wearing... how about a white T-shirt and leather pants for all you Draco-lovers out there. **

**        12) Tiki-tiki-no-sarembo-chari-bari-ruchi-pip-pip-perry-pembo. You'll see. (Mine)**

**        13) Justin Finch-Fletchey- Sweet, annoying, girly. (JKR's) **

**        14) Lee Jordan- funny, nice, hot, tricky, you know him. (JKR's, developed more by me.) Wears: Hooded sweatshirts, baggy jeans. Spikes. Skater-type. Nice. **

**        Oh, yeah, and Proffessor Flitwick and Sprout and JKR's. **

**        Alright, now you know everyone. On to my story. **

CHAPTER 1: CAMP VERITAS 

            Proffessor Flitwick clasped his hands nervously and surveyed the room before him. It was about the size of a large classroom, but almost empty- just the small circle of 16 chairs in the middle and two long wood tables in a corner. There was also a fireplace against the wall opposite him, which, of course, was not lighted, as it was summer. There was a door on the wall to his left, which now opened slowly, revealing a monster made entirely of humoungous brown paper bags.

            "Oh, God, no!" shouted Proffessor Flitwick, backing hurriedly against the wall, "THE GROCERY BAG MAN!!! He's come back for me!" 

            "Filius?" said a voice from behind the bags, "It's me, Sprout! Could you help me out here, please?" 

            Pr. Flitwick calmed his fiercly pounding heart and relieved Pr. Sprout of two of her bags. 

            "Thanks, Could you just set those right there on the table?" They both did. "Jeez, Filius, if you're gonna keep freaking out like that, you'll never be able to control _these _kids!" 

            "I'm sorry," he muttered, intensely embarrased. "What're these?" He indicated the grocery bags. 

            Pr. Sprout tipped them all over at once, the contents- various kinds of junk food- spilled all over the table. Smiling, she began to lay them out, coverint the whole table. 

            "I just thought I'd pick 'em all up a bit of snackies to enjoy. Afterall, it _is _their summer holiday, and they _are _teenagers-" 

            "I suppose... even if they're all delinquents-" 

            "I think you'd be surprised, Filius," Sprout smiled. "Have you looked at the list of kids yet? I'm sure it's not what you'd expect." 

            Just then, strange cracklings came from the fireplace. The two professors spun aroun to watch a tall, skinny yountg lady emerge fromt he fireplace with a large trunk, and brush ash off herself. 

            "Mi... miss.... Miss Granger?" spluttered Flitwick, staring. "What're _you _doing here?" 

            "Well," she said causually, moving her trunk over to a corner of a room wherea sign said 'Baggage here', "I was invited, I believe, or else I certainly wouldn't have spnt so long traveling throught that Floo system. This ceratinly _is_ out in the middle of nowhere, isn't it?" 

            "Good morning, Hermione. Yes, it really is, we created it ourselves, you know. Just for the purpose of this camp!" 

            She indicated one of the 16 chairs and instructed Hermione to take a seat. And one by one, each of the students arrived through the fireplace in a similar manner, sometimes with Flitwick's surprise, sometimes with his expectance. In the end, the list of students sitting around the circle went like this: 

            1) Hermione 

            2) Sean

            3) Bill

            4) Neville

            5) Brittany

            6) Lindsay

            7) Malfoy

            8) Justin

            9) Ginny

            10) Lee

            11) Lavender

            13) Haunalie

Last of all, the fire spat out a strange unfamiliar little Chines boy wearing huge glasses (with tape, of course), sweat pants reaching to his ankles revealing bit, tie-died socks under some strange leather sandals. He set his trunk on the ground and grinned. "Wa Kee Chai Um!" He said happily. 

            "Um, hello," said Sprout, hurrying over to him. "You must be... um... Ti- Tiki-" 

            "Tiki-Tiki-Tembo-No-Sarembo-Chari-Bari-Ruchi-Pip-Pip-Perri-Pembo!" yelled the boy. "Mi es name-o!" 

            "Er... yes." She smiled and checked him off on the list. "We'll just call you Tiki-Tiki, shall we?" 

            "All, shall we, uh-hum. Yes." He hurried over and sat down between Lavender and Sean. "Yo!" he said, and smiled at both. 

            "Yeah... hi." they both muttered nervously, looking the other way. 

            "Well, now that you're all gathered here," began Sprout, she and Flit taking their seats, "Welcome to Camp Veritas. You may call me Sprout, and Prof. Flitwick here can be shortened to Flit. All right," she muttered, shifting uncomfortably, "Best we get the dirty stuf over with quick, eh? Then we can move on to fun!" 

            "Oh, whoopee," muttered Sean sarcastically, "This sure is my idea, spending my holidays in a detention camp." 

            "So," continued Sprout, glaring at him, then turning to look at each student in turn, "I suppose you all know why you're here. Each of you has commited a crime, some offence against the Ministry of Magic. Some of these are minor, some are incredibly serious. You see, we recieved lists at the Ministry- anonymous tip lists. One was a list of crimes one's a list of the offenders. _Our_ job here at this camp-" here she nodded at Flitwick, who headed over and started tampering with the fireplace, "-is to find out who did what. Now, that can be very simple for you all, or it can be difficult. Your choice. All you have to do is admit what your crime was, go through some training here and you'll be released charge-free. However, the longer it takes you to confess, the longer you'll get to hang with us this summer. And, of course,t he few of you who commited the very serious crimes might be detained for a while." Flitwick stood, up, done with whatever he had been doing with the fireplace. She continued. "Flit has now closed the Floo grate. You're now here for the summer. I trust we'll all enjoy our time here. Oh, but let's hope it's safe fun, right? Everyone, turn in you wands to Flit now, please." Reluctantly, each student did so, and he returned to his seat. "Now," Sprout smiled, "that we've got that over with, let's get to know each other, shall we?" 

**Alright, everyone, I know that wasn't all that entertaining yet, but it'll get better now, promise. But review, please! I'm even okay with flames, just as long as you review, Oh, and don't give me any of that crap about un-realisticness of the story plot. I know it could never happen in real life, so don't bother me. I LOVE YOU FOR READING THIS! NOW READ CHAPTER 2!!! **


	2. Chapter 2: Guessing Games?

CHAPTER 2: Guessing Games?

            "Let's play a little game," Sprout said. " A mixer, an ice-breaker. Everyone stand up, and I'm gonna put a nametag on your back. This tag will have someone famous on it you'll recognize, but you're not allowed to look at it to see who it is. You have to figure it out by asking yes or no Qs to everyone else. Go." 

            After she had stuck all the tags one everyone's backs, they started reluctantly to ask each other Qs. Most didn't want to mix at first. It was difficult for Hermione- she had neither Harry nor Ron for company. She moved over to Lavender and Justin who were talking. After looking at their tags, she saw Lavender was Dumbledore and Justin was Darth Vader. 

            "Oooh," they yelled, "Answer our Qs!" **(By the way, for you non-Minervish speakers, Q stands for Question.) **

            "Okay." 

            "Am I magical?" Lavender said. 

            "You are..." 

            "And me?" yelped Justin excitedly. 

            "Um..." _was _Vader? He could hardly be called a Muggle... "I suppose." 

            "Well, am I real" -Justin. 

            "No." 

            "Me?" -Lavender. 

            "Certainly." 

            "A girl, right?" 

            "No." 

            " A guy?" 

            "Yes." 

            "Young?"

            "No." 

            "Old? Like... older than 40?" 

            "Yes." 

            "60?" 

            "Older." 

            "Older than _80_?" 

            "Yes!" 

            "Who's a wizard." 

            "A good one?" 

            "Yes." 

            "Dumbledore!" 

            "Good!" 

            "And me?" -Justin. "A guy?" 

            "Yes." 

            "Young?" 

            "No." 

            "Not real, so in a book?" 

            "Maybe, but not famous for that." 

            " A movie, than." 

            "Yep." 

            "Muggle movie, obviously." 

            "Yes, a great famous one, too." 

            "Recent?" 

            "No. Well, yes, and no." 

            "Ah, so a series, than." 

            "Yes." 

            "Am I the good guy?" 

            "NO." 

            "Star Wars!" 

            "Yes!" 

            "Darth Vader!" 

            "Yes! Now, my turn." She turned around to show them her tag. "Am I famous?" she asked. They snorted and grinned at each other. "Well?" 

            "Okay, okay everyone!" shouted Sprout, "We're not making much progress in some areas, so we're gonna mix it up a bit, k? I'll pair you all up a bit differently." 

            She did so. 

            Hermione ended up with Lee Jordan. He laughed harder at her tag than Lav and Justin had. 

            "What, am I a muggle?" 

            "No!" he laughed. 

            "A witch."

            "No."

            "Wizard?" 

            "Yep." 

            "Young?"

            "Yes." 

            "Famous?" she asked hesitantly, remembering the others' reaction to this Q. She had been right to hold back. 

            "YES!" he burst, "Ho, yes!" 

            "Am I as young as a student?" 

            "Si." 

            "And I'm famous?" 

            "Yes!" he chuckled. 

            Suddenly, it hit her. "No," she murmured, "No, they wouldn't do that!" 

            "Yes, they would, and they did-" 

            "No! I'm not... not... _Harry?_" 

            Lee now practically fell on the floor with hysterical laughter. "No, oh no. Much more close, I'm sure!" 

            Huh? she thought, who could be closer than Ha... Oh, no. God, no. She practically passed out. 

            "Not... not... Vic...Vicky..... Krum?" 

            "Ho, ho, took you a while, hun." 

            "Oh, no. That's so... so..." 

            "Cruel?" 

            "YES!" she shrieked, stumbling into a chair. 

            "Dude, breath in, breath out, and answer my Qs..." he turned around and pointed at his back. 

            She stopped moaning and giggled a bit. 

            "What, is it my ex, too?" he laughed, "But at least Alicia's not _famous."_

            "No," she huffed, "it's not Spinnet. It's just that-" 

            "So, am I famous?" 

            "Yeah." 

            "Have I ever met this person?" 

            "Not up close, but you've seen him." 

            "Oh, a wizard." 

            "Yeah." 

            "Sports?" 

            "Uh, I don't really know, that's what's so funny." 

            "Dude, if it's something _you _don't know, it _has _to be sports." 

            "Ok, yeah." 

            "Quidditch?" 

            "Oh my gosh! I just remembered who it is! Yes, it's Quidditch!" 

            "Ok, calm down. From the cup of last year?" 

            "YES!" 

            "_Not _Bulgaria." 

            "Ha ha. No," she glared. 

            "Ireland- seeker!" 

            "Yes!" 

            "Troy Mullet!" 

            "Good!" 

            "Well, imagine that, we got the two seekers. Too bad Harry wasn't included on someone else's back." 

            "Ha ha." 

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sean and Brittany were paired together. 

            Sean had Britney Spears. Brittany had the Weird Sisters. 

            "So," said Sean, "screw this guessing game, how _you _doin'?" 

            "Whoa, your antlers are so short!" she commented, amazed. 

            "My... antlers?" 

            "That's how cheese put it." 

            "Ok.... right. Maybe we will play this tag game thing. But forget the yes or no thing. Just answer me this: who am I?" 

            "Cheater! Okay, you're Britney Spears." 

            "Nice!" 

            "And my beard?" 

            "Huh?" 

            "Who am I?" 

            " The Weird Sisters. Kinda fits you. Well, look at how fast we finished this game! No problem. Imagine that." 

            She smiled. "Santa Turkey would be proud." 

            "Rrrrright." 

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, a far more normal pair was guessing. Well, not altogether normal. Bill had already established his was a wizard of great political importance, who wasn't greater than Dumbledore. 

            "Duh!" said Bill, "Fudge. Yuck." 

            "Yes, you're right! How did you guess that? You are sooo amazing," Jessica breathed, smiling, gazing into his eyes. "Now, will you help me?" 

            "K, guess." 

            "Am I beautiful?" 

            "No." 

            "Pah! How dare you?" she fluffed her hair. "That's so rude. Now, am I a witch?" 

            "No." 

            "Wizard." 

            "No." 

            "A muggle girl?" 

            "No." 

             "Boy?"

            "Yes."

            "A real one?" 

            "No." 

            "From a movie."

            "No."

            "TV?"

            "No."

            "Then WHAT?" 

            "Well, a comic book." 

            "A BOOK? They gave me a BOOK?" 

            "Well, sorta..." 

            "I don't know any _books_!!!! Tell me who I am!!!" 

            "Well aren't we supposed to-" 

            "Fine!" she ripped it off her back. "Jughead Jones? Who is THAT? What an ugly name!" 

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin, Draco, and Neville were together. Bad combo. Justin, of course, already knew he was Darth Vader, and Neville was still trembling, having just found out he was Snape, much to Malfoy's satisfaction. 

            "Now," he snapped, "Tell me, am  a wizard?" 

            "Eeeeek!" shrieked, Justin, for he had seen the back of Malfoy's tag, "Ooooh, yay!" It was his favorite singer, his idol, Justin Timberlake!!! 

            "No, said Justin, "You're not a wizard!" 

            "A witch?" 

            "No!" 

            "Surely not a _muggle...._" 

            "Yes, but a special one!" 

            "A special muggle? What the hell's wrong with you?" 

            "He's my idol! Don't you know Justin Timberlake?" 

            "Who is THAT?" 

            "The leader of N*Sync! The coolest!" 

            "What? A muggle singer?? How DARE they? Just wait till my father finds out they gave me a MUGGLE!" 

            Neville shrank farther into his seat. 

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haunalie had long before given up trying to ask Tiki Qs. After a long period of: 

            _"Do you speak English?" _

_            "Chise Kong Wa?" _

_            "DO... YOU... SPEAK... ENGLISH?" _

_            "Oh, si, very much give England thank, you." _

...she gave up and they both looked at their cards. He was Jackie Chan. They had given her Marilyn Monroe, who couldn't be more different. 

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Ginny, Lavender, and Lindsay were having quite a time. Lindsay hadn't known anything about Winston Churchill, some Muggle leader, and eventually the just let her look at it. 

            Ginny's card said J.K. Rowling on it. 

            No one who _he_ was. 


End file.
